A.P.
Lit Rough Draft Blog
For my rough draft I wrote
about the short story “Hairball”. I was instantly attracted to this one in
particular because it was written by a strong feminist. Honestly I was confident
in which quotes to use because they were the strongest in capturing the essence
of “Hairball”. To me it was used to show how symbolism portrays warnings to
individuals. I thought my thesis was strong enough, but after reading the
comments I can see where I got off topic due to the vagueness of it. Having a stronger
thesis would have made it easier to form more logical topic sentences and form
connections back to the bigger picture, the “so-what.” It’s hard to make
transitions between the paragraphs because I do not want to be repetitive, but
simply achieve clarity. The transitions taught to me in my past were the basic
ones “first, second, third, in conclusion..”. In order to change my outlook on
this I need to research better ways of blending and unifying my ideas. If I had
a strong grasp of the basic grammatical structures then that would to a more
thorough development of my writing. I do have a lot of corrections to make, so I
can’t wait to sit down with you and discuss some concerns.
As I read the comments
on my rough draft I simply nodded my head. I feel as though I am constantly in
the 5- range because I lack a stronger thesis. I agree that I have insightful
observations, but I cannot seem to be consistent in evaluating them. The fact
that I start off with a vague thesis throws me off for the direction of my
essay. To make it strong it needs to be an effective one that answers the “so
what”, evokes argument, and leads to the organization of my paper. I do not
understand how to make this thesis more specific, that it what I need help on
the most. The next aspect that I learned I could get help in is the unification
of my paper. I find it difficult to blend the quotes properly. When I attempted
this it was seen as awkward, so I realize that it is a weak area for me. In
order for it to blend properly the quote has to fit “naturally” into the paragraph.
Lastly, I struggled with rudimentary spelling errors and grammatical
infractions. It did not seem to be slowing me down as I sat down to prepare
this essay, but I would have thought some of these errors would have been
caught by a peer-facilitator. For this very reason I do not particularly like
them. I need to focus on the paper itself through striving to avoid passive
voice, the use of slang, and watch for the use of “I”. Overall my writing is
somewhat of a skeleton, but I understand and will strive to achieve a more
clear and in depth analytically developed essay for the final draft.
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