Grendel analysis for chpt. 1

My class and I have begun reading "Grendel" by John Gardner. I really enjoy it better then "Beowulf", I feel as though it is more passionate rather than historical. Grendel’s character is portrayed as the outcast even in his own environment. It struck me as odd that even his mother looks at him with puzzlement and even fear most times. She is the most animalistic part of his life; moreover as he tries to develop as a person and discover who he is, I believe his mother and society keep dragging him back into reality. He describes his mom as being fat, old, sick at heart and a long suffering style when usually you love your mom for simply bring you into the world. Grendel resents his mom for acting out the animal instincts in him that he’s trying to repress. I believe these trials and inner turmoil leads to his frustrations with man and the world as a whole. He sees his environment constantly changing due to man and their constant fighting over seemingly pointless ideas. The true struggle is with himself and God for creating him this is seen in, “Him to I hate (6)”. Also, he is constantly yelling to himself at the sky and the shrubbery presented to him in his surroundings. It is reasonable to acknowledge his screams as from genuine contempt, but on the other hand he does appear to be yelling pointlessly to hear himself. John Gardner presents these conflicting personalities to highlight the struggle between following what society presents as your path or following your dreams. Although Grendel is seen as a ruthless monster killing needlessly he is simply following his destiny. The lack of guidance from his mom leads to his search of self-worth, “Why are we here…Don’t ask (11)”. I believe that if his mom explained his creation instead of allowing men to sing about how evil he is, he would not harbor this great hostility towards them. The fact that he belittles himself shows how he despises his childhood because he was so naïve. Chapter 2 explains that in his childhood he would explore, but what he saw was not pleasant. I saw the allusion of Adam and eve as he delved deep into the world he gained knowledge of their hatred towards him and that triggered the anger. The fact that he gets trapped in the tree shows that the knowledge he gained on this day was forever trapped in him and he was never truly able to remember. He is surrounded by men who act as the true animals killing themselves over “justice and honor”. These ideas flooding his mind lead to chaos and he acts out, this cycle is what makes him stand out as a person. I actually respect Grendel because he is simply acting as himself while struggling to find himself at the same time.